![]() ![]() ![]() If, during the conversation, your partner is able to point to concrete examples of ways they regularly try to make you feel emotionally fulfilled and yet you still can’t shake feeling lonely, “it’s probably more something within, rather than coming from the other person,” he says. But the first step should be to talk to your partner about how you feel, says Joshua Rosenthal, a clinical psychologist and director of child and adolescent treatment at Manhattan Psychology Group. It can be difficult to determine the root of your lonesomeness. “There’s not this person who’s going to take that alone-ness.” How do you know if the loneliness stems from you or your relationship? “People hope for this other person to be the solution to their existential aloneness in the world, but normally that’s not ,” she says. And Dardashti warns that getting into a relationship as a means of curing pre-existing feelings of loneliness will never truly work. A 2016 study published in Nature found that loneliness can be a heritable trait and that there are certain people who may be genetically predisposed to feel greater pangs of loneliness throughout their lives. A 2017 study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that people who reported spending more than two hours a day on social media were twice as likely to feel lonely than those who spent half an hour on those sites.īut sometimes, feeling lonely could predate the actual relationship. And the more time you spend on social media, the more lonely you can feel. It’s through this distance that feelings of loneliness start to arise. “That will automatically make you feel lonely.” When you compare your relationship to those on your social media, she says, you wind up creating an “unpleasant distance” between you and your partner. ![]() But then you go on social media and other people got really beautiful jewelry or flowers,” she says. “Let’s say it’s Valentine’s Day, for instance, and you had a nice dinner. According to Taitz, comparing your relationship to ones you see on social media can generate a sense of loneliness. Want to build a meaningful connection that lasts? Sign up for TIME’s guide to relationships. “You could be close to someone but they might not know the more personal things about you.” “One contributing factor to loneliness is not talking about your feelings or sharing things that are maybe a little less safe and risky to share,” she says. “Even in the very best of relationships, there are going to be those times when one or both partners may have drifted apart and feel somewhat distant and estranged from one another,” he says.Īn unwillingness to be vulnerable can also contribute to feelings of loneliness within romantic relationships, according to Jenny Taitz, a clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Single and Happy. This sense of loneliness can often take place when a couple has lost their emotional connection, says Gary Brown, a licensed family and marriage therapist in Los Angeles. And the number of people who are unhappy at home is rising - the most recent General Social Survey conducted in 2016 by NORC at the University of Chicago recorded the highest number of unhappily married couples since 1974. A 2018 Pew Research Center survey found that 28% of people who are dissatisfied with their family lives feel lonely all or most of the time. One reason for feeling lonely could be that your relationship is not working as well as it once did. Why do some people feel lonely in their relationship? Whatever the culprit, here, a few experts explain why you might be feeling this way and provide ways to address the root of the loneliness you may be experiencing. ![]()
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